"no she’s hot she can’t die"
— me watching tv (via tittianamaslany)

(Source: urbancatfitters)

  • Chocolate: Raw nuts/seeds.
  • Oily/Fatty Snacks: Kale, leafy greens.
  • Soda/Carbonated Drinks: Actual, literal bubbles.
  • Chips/Salty Food: Topsoil.
  • Cookies: Freudian psychology.
  • Sweet Tea: A strong Southern gentleman to take care of you.
  • Pasta/Carbs: Pasta/Carbs.
  • Ice: The sweet release of death.

clraft:

when i say “the other day” i could mean yesterday or 5 years ago there’s no in between 

(Source: clraft)

supernatural-mishamigo:

vvaddles:

theselener:

vvaddles:

would u rather eat a pound of bricks or a matter baby??

whats a matter baby

nothing sweetie whats a matter with you??

I literally did not see that coming

m-ooonn:

she sat in the water for like an hour, just staring at the water peacefully

drunkforeverascone:

we-are-like-young-sharknados:

Drunkforeverascone this is literally us
it even looks like us kinda, wtf

im crying because it IS us  drunkforeverascone:

we-are-like-young-sharknados:

Drunkforeverascone this is literally us
it even looks like us kinda, wtf

im crying because it IS us 

drunkforeverascone:

we-are-like-young-sharknados:

Drunkforeverascone this is literally us

it even looks like us kinda, wtf

im crying because it IS us 

(Source: thickerthanectoplasm)

unlimitedgoats:

luxvriously:

My anaconda will consider it

My anaconda has, upon review of the information presented with it’s partners, decided that it, in fact, does not. My anaconda apologizes for any inconvenience this may cause and thanks you for your time.

the-loki-initiative:

habibtipalestina:

Student: can I please use the bathroom?

*takes bag*

Teachers: why are you taking your bag?

image

This happened in my English class one time and the girl who was going picked up her bag as she got up and the male teacher just said “Put your bag down and go to the bathroom.” and without any hesitation she just said, “I need something in it there is blood coming out of my vagina.” He never made girls leave their bags again.

(Source: habibipalestina)